A few years ago, myself and close family were able to care for my Granny until she passed away peacefully at home with those she loved most around her. Not many people have this opportunity or would even know where to start, but my family and I were fortunate in that we had nurses and carers who were able to work together to provide 24 hour care. Not only that, but those with no care experience were able to help out too! I saw how much it meant to my Dad to be able to do this one final thing for his Mum, and to not have to rely on strangers to take care of her when she was most vulnerable.
My Granny had dementia and in her last few months, her energy for life seemed to dwindle. She was 90 years old, had survived numerous strokes, a heart attack, a near life time of diabetes, but never complained! We first noticed her appetite reduce, and she begun spending most of her days asleep. This gradually worsened until she went off her feet and began declining food. As nurses, Mum and I had experienced the poor care provided in so many care homes and so always vowed we would do everything we could to keep my Grandparents at home. We soon knew who in the family would be able to join us in this, and began taking it in turns to pop by and provide my Granny with personal care and try her with a little food and drink. Some of us had years of nursing experience, others had no care experience what so ever. But together, supporting each other, we made it work. My Grandad was so thankful and proud that he didn’t have to have strangers in the house, and valued having us around him for comfort and reassurance. At first a few visits a day were enough, until her last week with us, when she needed 24hour care. Again, we took it in turns to juggle work and childcare, often bringing the children along to help! Granny took her final breath in her own bedroom, surrounded by those most precious to her.
I wish I could say this experience was easy, that it wasn’t exhausting and emotional. It was. But the peace and joy that came with knowing that my Granny was cared for in her own home, by people who loved her and new her best, cannot be described in words. It is my wish that every person that wants to be can be cared for in the place they call home. Isn’t this the greatest final gift we can give the ones we love?
“Caring goes to the heart of what it means to be human. It’s hard, but it can also be the most life-giving thing we ever do. It comes back to the essential lesson: we need each other.” Justin Welby Archbishop of Canterbury